Today, Michael, treat her like you want her to choose [to be with] you tomorrow.
Time is too valuable a currency to spend triaging damage to the relationship when that time could be used to celebrate the relationship. Forgive, listen, touch, smile, sing, whisper, apologize.
Write a note, complete a task on her list, or buy a necessity. Swallow the pride in you that will rob you of making a better decision – the prideful mind that will make you feel incapable of delivering an apology.
Don’t say it. Don’t do it. Don’t even entertain the thought of anything that could make her hesitate to choose you tomorrow.
If she is a critical part of your sanity, a grounding source for your grandiose anxieties, and a light to your darker self-talk, then consider every interaction with her an investment in your shared mental and emotional health.
A radical concept: choose each other daily
Does it seem like a radical concept? But why not imagine that every day your life partner has to choose to be with you?
When I think deeply about the concept, it’s not so out there because our partner does have to choose us. In my mind, if I interact with her in ways that are positive, affectionate, considerate, reverent, etc., then I can sleep at night secure in our bond. If I’m complacent or callous with her, I put myself at risk of her deciding not to be with me tomorrow (or any tomorrow).💚
The idea might sound silly, but it feels like a solution to avoiding becoming complacent with the way I love her. It feels like a solution to preventing my taking her or our bond for granted. As crazy as it might sound, it’s worth trying. A healthy relationship is worth a healthy experiment.