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Sometimes, a person looking for love doesn’t know much about what they want in a partner except that they don’t want to feel alone.
When a date asks you what happened in a failed past relationship, 25% of what they want to know is what caused the damage, and 75% of what they want to know is what you are doing to heal from it.
Michael P. Wright
Maybe that should be OK. Are they any different from the person who only knows what they don’t want in a partner?
I used to feel like you needed to be completely healed, have all of your ducks in a row, and have life figured out before inviting someone to be your mate. Over time and with therapy, I stopped believing that idea. It was about the time I realized being healed isn’t a finish line. It’s a mentality.
At one time, I thought being healed from the mental and emotional trauma of a past relationship meant that you were no longer affected by it. Like some kind of immunity. No, I’m healed when I have thoughts and habits that let me acknowledge the way I feel and not be negatively impacted by those feelings. The wound(s) still exists but isn’t opened again.
My point is that I don’t think you should wait to find love if you’re healing from a past relationship. You’re not walking around leaking radiation. You won’t kill anyone. If you can be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling and how you’re processing your emotions, I’m sure you’ll be fine. Communicate to a would-be partner what you’re going through. My personal advice is to have that conversation very early in the relationship.
Dating Tip:
Dating Tip: When a date asks you what happened in a failed past relationship, 25% of what they want to know is what caused the damage, and 75% of what they want to know is what you are doing to heal from it.
