I should be motivated and excited. I feel rushed and drained.
I’m in the last week of my 6 month coding bootcamp at NSS. Capstone Project #2 is due before graduation Friday. I love my idea. I don’t have enough time to complete it, and this feeling takes me back to high school Art classes with Ms Westburg.
Art shouldn’t have time limits? Creative work has time limits and deadlines in school. A profession in creative arts has a those same limits. I’m not feeling the same as my classmates about getting a job for someone else’s company. I feel guilty that I don’t. I don’t need a job. That’s not a flex; I mean it literally. Financially, I’m secure. What I want is to plan, design, and build web applications.
What I loved about Art was creating. All the mediums: scratch board, chalk, graphite pencils, clay, etc. I hated the deadlines. Of course, I get understood that time limits have to be given because it was school. Specifically, I hated the feeling that I had to rush my work or turn in something incomplete.
Sure, the VA — who has been kind enough to pay my NSS tuition — requires me to apply for jobs (and log my solicitations). That’s another level of pressure I’m not going to dive into right now. I’ll submit applications and polish my résumé. I’ll get it all done, no problem. I just don’t want to work for a company yet.
I don’t want to work next week. What I want to do is practice more with React. I want to learn at database Supabase and Storybook and launch a stand-alone website. There’s not enough time!
I’m not saying I don’t want a job. I’m saying that I want to do the work of a UX Designer without a deadline on my work. I think I’ll want to get some experience with working for companies, and it seems ideal for me to pursue contract jobs.
One benefit I foresee in working for a component is that I won’t be solely responsible for both design and development of an app. The pieces will be split between roles. Ideally, I’ll take a position where I get to plan the UX and/or create the Design System the sweet spot.
For now, I have to sort out getting Capstone #2 passable to finish the course on time this week.