Talking to Animals

If I could talk to animals, I’d ask “What do you think about concrete, and how has it impacted your family?”

Also, I feel like once animals become aware that I can understand them, they would flock to me with complaints. I would become an unofficial HR and Animal Rights liaison.

That all sounds like useful work, and I’m not complaining. Naturally, I have to consider that some of my pro bono animal clients will be nocturnal types, and I like to sleep at night. Who would want to have a dictation session at 2-3am when you have class in the morning? Sure, for some animals, I could turn on the voice recorder, but for those with extremely high or lower frequency voices — the bats and owls, for example — the recorder might not pickup their speech very well. Of course, this is based on the assumption that modern voice recorders are programmed to pickup mid-range sound signals where human voices operate.

To be clear, I’d want to help the critters. Absolutely. I’m just saying it would be difficult work.