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Some of us are better at making our own rules than following someone else’s.
I don’t think one is better than the other, in general (what’s better for each of is situational). But I do believe you have to understand which you are more of and rock with that.
Lean all the way in. Don’t kick against who you are — whether you’re a rule maker or rule follower. Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t get stuck with a bunch of unrealistic expectations for yourself.
If you resist, you will not get the most out of your one life. You will spin your wheels. You will resent yourself. You will make it impossible to be happy.
Know yourself
It sounds cliche, I know. However, the sooner you understand which path, which type fits you, you’ll understand why you were so bad at being in that job — like the military, for example. You’ll figure out why compromising in personal and professional relationships is feels so exhausting.
At this point, I’m projecting, but you get where I’m going. You can save yourself a lot of headache and wasted time by getting this part of your self-examination right.