This is a flashback to a FB post I made 16 Sep 2016 when I was active duty. I had been offered a more technical job in another unit. There were a lot of feels, but mostly relief. I was not happy being in charge of almost 20 other adults.
In 2016, I wasn’t happy about a lot of things (in February that year, my wife at the time moved my two-year-old son and 2-month-old daughter to Mississippi while I remained assigned to Shaw Air Force Base in South Carolina). I spent 5 months living alone in a base housing home in denial until the Base Housing Office informed me that I could not remain in base housing without a family.
Today is my last day in the 20th Comm Sq.
Here’s a a speech I won’t be giving to them (not because it wouldn’t have an impact but because it runs 5+ minutes, and I haven’t prepared a time/place to give it probably due to poor planning which is, ironically, a significant reason why I didn’t excel at the job):
“I wasn’t able to deliver the quality of output on par with what the CS needed in a Section Chief position these two years. By nature, I’m an obsessive and intensely passionate person, so it’s disappointing and it’s upsetting…but I’ll be over it in about 8 hours.
Looking forward, I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn new things at AFCENT NOSC and serve in a role that’s better suited for my abilities…
While I have this forum, let me leave you all with something, some food for thought: In the Profession of Arms, you have every right to expect the best effort from each other. We can acknowledge our best efforts in one of two ways. First, we communicate to a person that they’re inadequate and allow them to drown in their failures or-OR we use more constructive ways, conducive to growth and self-realization by recognizing their value. Spoiler alert: one of these ways tears a person down; and the other way turns a person into an ass kicking Terminator!
The military is unique in a lot of ways. One specific way is that it forces you to interact with people that you would not otherwise have anything to do with. So you’re going to make the choice about how you acknowledge each other daily – maybe hourly.
When Chief Mullens presented the opportunity for me to take this job, some red flags went up in my head and I thought “The jig is up! They know I suck!” But because I already understood my value – meaning I was aware of my strengths and weaknesses – before I said down in that office, I took that feedback constructively. Instead of apprehension, a reaction that comes much more natural for me, I felt affirmation. I wasn’t caught off guard by having my flaws laid in front of me.
Final points:
First, know your value. Look in the mirror A LOT. With some good old-fashion humility, you’ll start to get it; you’ll start to understand your strengths and weaknesses. You’ll understand what you bring to the table in any role you fill [in life].
Second, articulate your value to people who care. We put a lot of miles on each other in the Comm Squadron. It’s improbable that you can spend 40+ hours a week of 112 awake hours with a person and not care about them. Everyone here is heavily invested in one another; you care about each other. It’s imperative that you know and appreciate each other’s value.
Last point, be aware of where you invest emotional labor. Emotional labor is like a 24hr rechargeable battery. You have a finite amount of juice every day, and every day you have to decide how you’re going to distribute it. I wasted so much energy here kicking against what I did not want to be instead of focusing on how I could be what the job needed without compromising myself. Poor it into what’s most important TO YOU first. There’s not other trick to maintaining sanity through stressful periods.I’m extremely grateful for the personal connections I’ve made with most of you, and I got high fives available all day”
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